I was gonna go to school... but then...

Garth sniffed his pits one at a time, and his suspicions were confirmed. It was him. He turned to Jimmy with a grin.
“I think I’m ready.”
“Good,” chuckled Jimmy, as Garth approached Principal Larson’s front door. Garth’s sweaty hand trembled, as it approached the doorbell. Everyone had had enough from the principal’s sludgy, retard of a daughter, and it was the day before Halloween. The perfect night for mischief.
It was the Principal’s wife that answered the door, and Garth could hear the daughter’s unseasonably upbeat cries of “Jingle Bells.” He was smelly, and he was going to jump in that slow girl’s mouth. He was pretty sure that he would also taste terrible, making the experience all the more unpleasant for the disgusting girl.
“Please help,” Garth said to the principal’s wife, “I reeeeeeally need to soap up my pits.” Before he could possibly get an answer from the woman, Garth ran past her into the bathroom. From inside the elegant levorotatory, he lathered up with the Larson’s Vaseline in preparation to be swallowed. Once he succeeded in opening the door with his greasy hand, he burst out of the bathroom like a crazed ninja strapped to a rocket.
“AIEEEEE!” he screamed as he made a beeline for the horrible little girl. Then, only darkness. He felt himself slithering down her academically challenged esophagus, a pathetic little tube he would have to get through if he ever hoped to get to the stomach and burst out of it. He could hear muffled sounds of ensuing panic outside of the warm, slippery throat tube. Luckily, Jimmy and his friends would be keeping the principal and his wife from interfering.
He paused for a moment more, waiting for his cue, but the last thing he heard was the sound of his own flesh sizzling. The principal’s daughter wasn’t a very fast thinker, but she had a very high metabolism. Ignoring his own searing pain, he gritted his teeth and worked further towards his goal. When he had finally situated himself square in the stomach’s center, he summoned all his strength, and with a mighty, “Squalushhhh!” he burst from the girl in a frightening shower of sludgy blood and parts.
He let out a proud hurrah and thrust his fist triumphantly in the air, but cut his cries short when he looked around the Larson’s room. No one was there anymore.
The scene in front of him fizzled with static as Jimmy lifted the dream device from his head.
“Dude, that was a weird fantasy!” Jimmy said, amused. He yelped as he looked upon the scene before him. As it turned out, the past five seconds had been a shock-induced hallucination, and he was still in the Larson’s empty room with retard flesh all over him. But still, no-one was there. Garth searched the now putrid smelling room, slipping all over the bile and sludge thick carpet. All he found inside were innards. He headed outside, and almost fainted at what he saw. His friends, as well as the principal, his wife, and the man next door watering his lawn were all dead. All signs of life were wilted, trees striped bare of bark, flowers, brown and crispy.
And next to them, a 98 foot tall dragon stood. And next to that dragon, were about a thousand other giant dragons, ravaging the once proud world before them. Apparently, he had escaped the initial blast of hellfire while nestled inside the comfortable half-wit. It was all Garth could do to not defecate all over himself as he stood there, gaping at the huge monster. Then he did defecate himself, and by the feel of it, Garth didn’t think he had long to live.
Garth’s feeling was only reinforced when the closest dragon, the one he had first noticed, bit off his legs. Garth lay there, blood spurting forth from his jagged stump, and contemplated the deeds of his life. Though he was only 14, he had already lived a life full of debauchery, drugs and poor choices. The last thing Garth uttered was an apology to the principal’s daughter. “I’ve always loved you,” he squealed to her remains, “and I just wanted to be inside of you.”